Of Fish and Men
by froth-onion
Summary: A rather stupid story (like all my others), written for my friend Adonis the Vain. Katherine, I hope I haven't destroyed HarryHermione for you forever.


**Author's Note: Feel free to flame my story, as I am feeling guilty about flaming Adonis the Vain's story. I mean Katherine's story. Same thing.**

Of Fish and Men

Harry heaved a sigh of desperation. _So it has come to this._ Indeed, he had not expected this outcome when he had asked Hermione to pretend to be a goldfish. However, Hermione actually transfiguring herself into a goldfish was not just unexpected: it was deeply depressing.

With another sigh, he made up his mind. Since Hermione was a goldfish, and it was his entire fault, he would have to face the consequences. Carrying the fishbowl that she was now situated in, he walked out of the classroom, and towards Professor McGonagall's office.

Ten minutes later, curious students looking through the window saw this: Harry sobbing loudly, Professor McGonagall patting him on the back cautiously, and a strange-looking goldfish on the floor.

"And….and she just…..transfigured before I could stop her!!! ……..I don't know why…….I thought we were friends………………"

Professor McGonagall looked confused. "I thought…you asked her to pretend to be a goldfish? What does that have to do with being friends?"

"Well, you know…….everybody knows that Harry Potter's favorite game is Dead Fish…as in, all of my friends……but………why did she take me literally? WHY?????"

Suddenly the desperate hero spotted the goldfish on the floor. "Hermione!!!" he screamed loudly.

Professor McGonagall: "o.O That's Hermione?"

The fantastically handsome and wretched Harry wrung his hands. "Professor McGonagall, you idiot! Did you drop her on the floor??? Where's the goldfish bowl?"

Professor McGonagall: "o.O That was a goldfish bowl???"

Harry screamed, "She's dying!!!!!!!! There's no water around……….what did you do with the water?????"

Professor McGonagall: "o.O I drank it."

Harry screamed some more and tore at his hair, sending the Hermionefish flying…into a glass of water!

Professor McGonagall: "!!! My Gillywater!!!! Potter, you idiot!!!"

Harry looked up and saw the goldfish. "Hermione! You're alive!" He turned his now extremely compelling and somewhat seductive gaze on Professor McGonagall. "Please, can you turn her back?"

Professor McGonagall: "o.O You're scaring me. Right, Potter! Enough of this nonsense! What have you done to my star transfiguration student to make her like this!!!"

Harry: "o.O Were you listening…?"

Professor McGonagall scowled. "Of course I shall turn her back! But for this idiocy of yours, Potter…50 points from Gryffindor!"

While Harry gaped in misery, Professor McGonagall shrieked a spell and suddenly there was a sound of breaking glass.

Hermione, however, had reappeared. "Oh Professor McGonagall! You turned me back!" She seemed disappointed, for some reason. Harry picked up on this, unfortunately.

"Hermione? Aren't you glad to be human again? Ron and I were really worried about you…"

The goldfish witch stared at him. "Couldn't you tell…? I was concerned about the rights of goldfish! Did you know that being in a fishbowl is extremely claustrophobic?"

Harry spluttered.

Hermione continued, "I was trying to study them and make notes. Unfortunately I couldn't think very well when I was a goldfish….next time I shall have to take that into consideration."

Professor McGonagall moved into view. "Hermione? That was extremely dangerous! You may be my best pupil, but that does not mean that you are entitled to do wanton, random human transfiguration!"

Hermione and Harry looked guilty. "I'm sorry, Professor," Hermione began, "I was just trying to do some research…"

Professor McGonagall looked disapproving. "Well, next time consult me first. Now run along before I take any more points from Gryffindor."

The two students glumly walked out of her office. "Hey Hermione," said Harry, "are we friends?"

Hermione stopped and stared at him. "Harry, are you okay? Of course we're friends!"

Harry, reassured, continued walking. Suddenly he asked, "Well, do you think Ron thinks I'm his friend?"

Hermione laughed. "I'm not even answering that."

THE END


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